Chuck Norris created Hugh Jackman Jokes so he would stop getting fan mail. Needless to say, it didn't work.

Chuck Norris went to pick up his girlfriend at Mr. Stevie's House of Beauty. Mr. Stevie asked Chuck if he'd like a bikini wax, since he was there. Chuck asked Mr Stevie if he would like it if he reached

It goes without saying that you can't hold a candle to Chuck Norris. Mainly because he will fart on it and incinerate you.

SNAKE PLISSKIN MAKES CHUCK NORRIS LOOK LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL BABY BACK BITCH !!!!!!

Chuck Norris recently broke Harrison Ford's ankle while he was busy banging Carrie Fisher on the Star Wars set.

Chuck Norris can play rock-paper-scissors in a mirror - and win.

On every continent of the world, there is a sandwich named after Chuck Norris. On the North American continent it's the Knuckle Sandwich.

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

when Chuck Norris pours milk into his rice crispy's they shut the fuck up

a man knocked on Chuck Norris' door and asked for an autograph. Chuck delivered a fatal Round House. A few days later, feeling sorry he walked into his back yard and signed the head of the carcus

Metallica's James Hetfield calls himself a table. Chuck Norris just calls himself a winner.

Chuck Norris loves horses .... With ketchup and onions .

When Chuck Norris walks up to you, then without a word turns around, bends over, and strikes a match between his legs, know that you are about to die the most unbelievably awesome death possible.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck NORRIS

Chuck Norris can ram your teeth so far down your throat that you will need to sit on your food just to eat it.

Chuck Norris created Pluto by staring at Neptune

You don't question Chuck Norris, because if you do, he'll drink a liter of liquid egg, then punch your sternum so hard that you'll vomit bloody stool.

Chuck Norris once extinguished a veld fire using just a flamethrower, only Chuck Norris can fight fire with fire.

When refueling his Hummer at the gas station Chuck Norris likes to smoke big fat cigars and stare at the attendant.

Chuck Norris invented Breeding so that he could Roundhouse Kick Newborns.... Twice