Chuck Norris invented Muay Thai in his sleep while acting out his dreams.

If you ever suggest that Chuck Norris might be gay, make no mistake, you will be dead before you even see the movement in the darkness.

The sperm whale first derived when Chuck Norris first reached puberty.

Chuck Norris died once. when greated by the grim reaper chuck proceded 2 round house kick the reaper.long story short death will never make that mistake again

When Chuck Norris sings, deaf people start to hear, and mute people start to talk. Too bad, he never sings.

Chuck Norris had an iPad Air when the iPhone was first released.

Chuck Norris once spit through a man's skull.

Tht legendary Thunderbird is Chuck Norris's pet bird.

Chuck Norris has a million Espurr. When they hug his legs, you better get the bleep out of there, or else you'll die a death worse than a normal Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Don't believe me? Have you

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set,

Chuck Norris satisfied Madonna so well she actually turned British.

Those big men escorting Chuck Norris during public appearances aren't body guards, they're in the Federal Witness Protection Program.

If Chuck Norris was the host of Chopped from food network, the one thats been chopped will be literally chopped. Luck is what you need. XD

Chuck Norris did not play high school or college football, thus sparing hundreds from injury.

When The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse entered this world, the first person they met was Chuck Norris. They now bunk at his horse ranch in Texas and clean the manure from the stables every morning.

Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.

Chuck Norris once wrote a poem so beautiful, it makes menopausal women explode in their pants, and grown men sob awesomeness.

Most people play slender ,slender plays chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris calls you, you have two options: either yes, or yes. Choose one if you want to live ...

E=MC2 actually means EVERYTHING = Mr. CHUCK NORRIS CHUCK NORRIS!