In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris is friends with Sonic The Hedgehog. They race often, too. Unsurprisingly, Sonic loses every time he doesn't cheat.

The wolf cried Chuck Norris

Babies cry when they are born because they know they are in a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' penis used to be bigger, but has been worn down from years of constant erosive friction. It's still massive, though.

Press this button to see Chuck Norris at age 32, and to die. ---->O It's not a real button, by the way. When Chuck Norris rates this good, though, it will be.

The people you see with brown teeth were in a room when Chuck Norris farted.

Chuck Norris never 'visits' a foreign land... he invades it

Chuck Norris can satisfy any woman just by being in the same room with her.

Chuck Norris won the $142,000,000 Texas state PowerBall Lottery with a ticket stub from a Texas Rangers baseball game.

Chuck Norris does not eat Honey, he eats the bees

Chuck Norris has an uncredited cameo in Predator. His beard plays the jungle.

It's bad for a black cat if it crosses Chuck Norris' path.

When Chuck Norris is asked the question "Ginger or Mary Ann?", he chuckles and replies, "Had 'em both!"

Chuck Norris can lift himself three feet in the air while urinating.

Chuck norris fly fishes for whales.

when Chuck Norris deos push ups he deosnt push hiself he pushes the earth down

Chuck Norris has surpassed Jesus Christ in Internet search volume.

James Bond's license to kill was issued by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris gets a happy ending when strangling mountain lions.