Contrary to popular belief Chuck Norris learned how to speak Spanish in a French form from a German Dictionary,photocopied from a Korean history book,written by an Egyptian who was born in Brazil,raised

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at a police stop... and fucking well got it.

Chuck Norris falls in a pit with hundreds of Rattlesnakes. The next day he emerges with Rattleskin boots,belt,hat,jacket and noticeable weight gain.

Chuck Norris once dug a hole... to the bottom of the ocean.

fish gotta to swim and birds gotta fly... but if Chuck Norris tells them to do otherwise... then those fish better start flyin!

Chuck Norris doesnt do the ice bucket challenge. Chuck Norris does the HOT LAVA BUCKET CHALLENGE.

Chuck Norris is the reason Jenny's afraid to leave the Block.

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

Chuck Norris' penis wears a cowboy hat.

Ever wonder why Curly disappeared from the Three Stooges? Chuck Norris did not find him funny.

Chuck Norris doesn't get into car accidents, cars get into Chuck Norris accidents.

The worst thing you can see on this planet is your own reflection in Chuck Norris eyes; it will also be the last thing you see.

Jimmy Hoffa owed Chuck Norris money.

Inspired by the 2004 Athens Olympics, Chuck Norris invented the roundhouse kick dive while visiting New Orleans..it's now known as Katrina

Chuck Norris is the first and only person to kill someone on every continent of the world. He achieved this distinction in 3 days in 1972.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Chuck Norris's side.

Trees bend because they're trying to get away from Chuck Norris. No matter how hard they try, they just can't get away due to his awesomeness.

Chuck E Cheese purchased their name from an old Chuck Norris porno from the 70's

if you think the super hero's are good like superman Chuck Norris is all of them

Chuck Norris won an Olympic Gold Medal in the Men's Singles Luge competition while riding down the ice on a pair of hair tweezers.