Chuck Norris once screamed "bloody murder" in sign language for the hearing impaired.

Chuck Norris has a life size tattoo of his face on his face. Rush Limbaugh has a life size tattoo of Chuck Norris' ass on his face.

Chuck Norris can beat an Englishman in an impersonating British accents.

"Elect Chuck Norris for Pope".

Chuck Norris' licence plate reads "YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT THIS IS THE BIGGEST AND LONGEST VANITY PLATE U EVA SEEN IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE"

The Chicago Cubs are the worst team in baseball history. The only reason Cub fans still exist is because they are the only group of losers that Chuck Norris, uncharacteristically, has displayed any mercy

The marines need a few good men, so that Chuck Norris has someone to kill on the boat ride to do the mission solo.

When god said let there be light Chuck Norris said say please

Chuck Norris gives cigarettes cancer

Contrary to the popular idiom, it was in fact a Chuck Norris flying roundhouse kick and not a straw that broke the camel's back.

Chuck Norris owns 42 different birth certificates from all over the world.

Sotheby's once auctioned off 1/4 lb of Chuck Norris toenail clippings for $400,000.

Chuck Norris has a twin brother. He is known as Satan.

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killed 50 pople, then the grenade exploded.

Chaoticians are going to rename the so-called 'butterfly effect' as the 'Norris effect'- whenever Chuck Norris goes bezerk and destroys a city, another city on the other side of the world blows up also.

The US army gave Osama Bin Laden's head to Chuck Norris. It now adorns the hood of his Hummer, which can be seen cruising through the streets of Abbotabad, Pakistan, with the song 'We Are The Champions'

Chuck Norris Knighted The Queen

The chicken crossed the road because of fear. Chuck Norris was behind him.

Chuck Norris knows exactly how many roundhouse kicks to your ass that it takes to make a poignant hemorrhoidal bouquet for you...one!