Chuck Norris recently received a Nobel Prize for his groundbreaking role in "Firewalker".

Chuck Norris can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.

Since the age of eight, Chuck Norris' penis has been permanently set to 'seek and destroy'

Chuck Norris once gave someone 8 seconds to live. That person is now known as the Rage Guy. URL=

Chuck Norris uses a Gatling gun as an egg whisk.

Chuck Norris killed the electric car.

Chuck Norris once did a woman so hard she had to change churches.

Chuck Norris likes to joust with a flagpole and a quad bike. He also pole vaults this way (9 gold medals).

Chuck Norris only uses his gunsights as bottle-openers.

Chuck Norris bought a whole chicken and ate only its soul

Jesus can walk on water Chuck Norris can swim through land

Zebras were created when Chuck Norris kicked the color out of horses.

Chuck Norris' digestive system can dissolve corn and peanuts.

Chuck norris doesn't make love. He re-invents it

Chuck Norris fact: John Merrick was Chuck Norris' identical twin. Chuck kicked his brothers butt inside his mothers womb for sucking on his thumb. John Merrick is known today as the elephant man.

What's the differance between Chuck Norris' penis and a beer tap? Nevermind, I'll just go get my own mug of beer.

Chuck Norris will only feed his pet canary, "Twinkles" strictly a diet of live peregrine falcons.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under Chuck Norris, indivisible with liberty and roundhouse kicks for all.

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he?s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.