Chuck Norris' shadow follows him from a safe distance.

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris has a meat thresher insallled in his living room as a ceiling fan.

"On 21 december 2012 Chuck Norris will align the planets and cause a poleshift."

Chuck Norris won the 1982 World Series of Poker with a 2 of clubs, 7 of hearts, jack of diamonds, a skip card from Uno, and a blank bingo card.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris

George Jung sniffed cocaine, Chuck Norris snorts sheet rock.

Chuck Norris can season his steaks with pepperspray

I got rabies from a bite BY a rabid dog. Chuck Norris bit me and I was cured.

Chuck Norris once gave someone 8 seconds to live. That person is now known as the Rage Guy. URL=

Mick Jagger: "oh you can't always get what you waaaannt." Chuck Norris "Yes I can."

Chuck norris is a nightmare on freddie kruegers street

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris wasn't born, he was ejected from a volcano

Chuck Norris has seen it all, and done it all, so many times that he has long ago lost count.

Chuck Norris sneezed in Japan- therefore causing Hiroshima to be bombed.

On every continent of the world, there is a sandwich named after Chuck Norris. On the North American continent it's the Knuckle Sandwich.

Chuck Norris' uvula is the size of a punching bag.

Chuck Norris could get to the 4th level of the Scary Maze Game, because he's not afraid of the Exorcist Girl, The Exorcist Girl is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris once ace the test, just by staring at the numbers.