When Chuck Norris was a year old, other kids his age were eating strained peas for dinner. Chuck would have a steak, medium rare. And a baked potato.

Chuck Norris has a gun rack above his toilet.

The Bill Of Rights was written by Chuck Norris on a used napkin and was originally called The Chuck Of Wrongs.

A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the head is the reason Eric Holder can't remember his involvement in Operation Fast and Furious.

Lothario was a real Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ate tiny the tiger for breakfast and it was GGGRRRREEEAAAT!

Police officers do not wear protective vests because of guns on the streets, but because they erroneously believe that if they pull Chuck Norris over for anything it will stop him from handing them their

Chuck Norris once won a D 1 Drifting Championship by driving a smart car with no motor,tranny,wheels or tires...come to think of it he was merely running sidways while making scretching noises

Mr T once beat Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe, In retalation, Chuck Norris invented racism

Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Sammy Sosa didn't really take steriods, they just got batting tips from Chuck Norris

The real reason the Titanic sank was because Chuck Norris want to get off and go for a swim.

There are no lines on Chuck Norris' palms. He decides his own fate - and others'.

If you ever find yourself screaming Chuck Norris' name during sex, then you must send a cheque of your life savings to him and immediately commit suicide.

When Chuck Norris was young...Santa sat on his lap.

God created the world in 7 days, Chuck Norris created the rest of the universe in one.

Chuck Norris's favorite word? CHORUS.

One round-house-kick from Chuck Norris can deliver eternal energy to Earth

Chuck Norris divorced his wife because he caught her littering.

Chuck Norris hates to piss in a urinal because the porcelain to too cold.

Chuck Norris participated in the 2005 home run derby, he has yet to receive the "Golden Ball".