an acorn planted in a pile of Chuck Norris shit will grow into an oak tree overnight

What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas. What goes on in Chuck Norris' bedroom will haunt your dreams forever.

Chuck Norris makes Bear Grylls look like a goddamn shut-in.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Another legend is that Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the

a long time ago Chuck Norris kicked the world so hard that its still spinning today.

Chuck Norris was on American Gladiators and finished the whole show before the first commercial break.

the 300 spartans would have not stood a chance against the pesians if Chuck Norris had not let them use the "total gym".

Chuck Norris is so cool the sun was sad

If you look up Chuck Norris in the dictionary, you will get Round house Kicked in the face, or the balls, depending on how you are holding the dictionary.

Chuck Norris decides the winner of American Idol.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris is, in theory, banned from visiting Greenland as his body heat will melt the glaciers. I say 'in theory' because nobody can fucking ban Chuck Norris from anywhere. It's just lucky that Chuck

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep in on Sunday mornings because he has learned that the best time to run little old ladies over with his Hummer is on their way to church.

Thi site has the worst Chuck Norris jokes out there. I mean really people. No one even puts any thought into them. They are pathetic

Chuck Norris' orgasms have been known to trigger avalanches throughout Europe, volcanic eruptions around the Pacific Rim and violent political unrest across Tatooine.

Chuck Norris wants a bath. A BLOOD BATH!

Chuck Norris is Darth Vader's father.

Liam Neeson was taken by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris polishes the marble floors of his palaces by moonwalking around them.