Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

"Carpe diem" is a Latin aphorism translated to "seize the day". "Chucky diem" is a Chuck Norrism translated to "seize the throat".

Chuck Norris can tie two cherry trees together using only his tongue.

Chuck Norris dosn't eat submarine sandwiches, he eats submarines...

Simply by visiting this website, Chuck Norris now knows your full name, address, occupation, what you look like and how often you masturbate.

Chuck Norris Sleeps On The Cieling

Chuck Norris not only kicks ass and takes names, he kills people and collects their souls.

I found Waldo too bad he is in Chuck Norris beard

Chuck Norris has a 1:1 scale size tattoo on his right testicle of Megan Fox blowing him.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

The comma was formed when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the fullstop which tried to make him stop his sentence. Needless to say, there are no fullstops in Chuck Norris' world.

Once, Chuck Norris ate 200 grapes, and peed out wine.

On Chuck Norris' birthday, one lucky child gets chosen to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris is Bruce Lee's trainer

Chuck Norris has a large, curved talon on each foot, much like the Velociraptor.

Chuck Norris' nut sack is so flexible that he can literally put one nut on a golf tee and practice his drives.

Chuck Norris never had a bustle in his hedgerow, and if he ever does, he won't be alarmed. In fact, he is the only person on earth who knows what the fuck that actually means.

When you knock on death's door, Chuck Norris answers, and then kills you for knocking.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away.... Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the shit out of somebody.

Little-known fact: Chuck Norris murdered Heath Ledger when he refused to give up an Olsen twin.