Chuck Norris was asked what he thought of Justin Bieber. Chuck said the thinks Bieber is a waste of good toilet paper.

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

Chuck Norris is the reason Tupac is hiding.

Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

Chuck Norris deflowered and impregnated 14 young women on his wedding day.

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.

When Chuck Norris Kills someone they dont go to heaven or hell or even get reincarnated... its like they never exsisted in the first place.

Chuck Norris knows what it sounds like when doves cry.

When the sun goes outside,he puts on Chuck Norris glasses.

Chuck Norris won the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of jail free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green No.4 Uno card.

Chuck Norris can read with his eyes closed and sleep with his eyes open just incase

Chuck Norris can repaint the mona lisa with no paint.

Chuck Norris doesn't avail for a broadband promo. he reaches out through the satellite in space.

Chuck Norris doesn't bend the truth, he snaps its' neck.

The only way to defeat Chuck Norris is to kill yourself, and beat him to the punch

While riding on a horse, Christopher Reeve once insulted Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was little, his friends had pet Goldfish. Chuck had a pet Piranha.

Chuck Norris paid a dime for a 50 cent candy bar and got $3.75 back in change.