Chuck Norris can eat or drink anything without a single stop while doing roundhouse kicks.

Attitudes have a Chuck Norris problem.

Chuck Norris only smokes Havana cigars and the cigars are personaly delived to Chuck Norris by Castro.

The mayans predict that theend of the world will come when Chuck Norris dies on Dec. 23, 2012.

Chuck Norris can keep any character played by Sean Bean alive.

Titanic did'nt sink because of an iceberg, it hit Chuck Norris on his morning swim...

The only way that Chuck Norris can get high is via Jack Daniels I.V. push TKO.

Chuck Norris once knocked himself out with his own line drive when he slid into second.

When Chuck Norris hears a Tsunami warning, he gets out his surfboard

Chuck Norris knows what Scotty doesn't.

HI IM CHRIS AND MAUNDERS JIZZED ON MY NECK LOL, I GOT PWNED ON COD6 BY JOHNSON !!! I LIKE GAY SEX WITH CHUCK NORRIS,! FUCKIN HARDEST GUY IN ROCHDALE HERE 2K9

If you ever dare speak aloud the blasphemy 'chickidee china, de chinese Chuck Norris', you will burst into flames.

No one can be sure what Chuck Norris looking at, only that it has 5 seconds left to live

Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the TV show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.

Chuck Norris can turn lead into uranium.

Chuck Norris once tried to teach a fat, stupid kid Martial Arts. Unsuccessfully. The kid grew up to be Steven Seagal.

the reason they found water on mars is because Chuck Norris round house kicked it in the face

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris says 'pull my finger', consider that a polite warning that you very soon will be atomized.

Chuck Norris can tell you how to get to Sesame Street