Everyone wonders what caused the Big Bang. Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is a poet, and damn straight he knows it.

Chuck norris cures women with aids by fucking them

Danny De Vito used to be over seven feet tall before his Chuck Norris pile-drive.

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Of course Chuck Norris taught the Joker the pencil trick.

Some people say that god can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck Norris' iPad has flash.

God is Chuck Norris 3rd cousin

Chuck Norris' last birthday party was held at the La Brea Tar Pits where he enjoyed all of the party games and easily won the 'dunking for dinosaurs' event.

Nostradamus didn't predict his spectacular beheading by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris only keeps in touch with his first nine dozen kids - all the others around the world get a quarterly newsletter

Chuck Norris knows exactly how many licks it takes to reach the center of a tootsipop.

You will get a bloody nose even if Chuck Norris only thinks about punching you in the face.

Chuck Norris once challanged Lance Armstrong to a testicle contest.... Chuck Norris won by 3!

Chuck Norris recently invented the roundhouse headbutt.

Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."

Chuck Norris invented the Touch of Death.

M. Night Shyamalan will not see the twist ending to his life, which will be Chuck Norris twisting his head off.

Brokeback Mountain is not just a film. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas is his backyard.