Like President Obama Chuck Norris also recieved the Nobel peace prize for doing nothing, but in Chucks case millions of lives were saved..

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Someone once said, "Chuck Norris doesn't look so tough". All that is left of that person is an ass with a boot up it.

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

The three blind mice once saw Chuck Norris.

The truth can't handle Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses the planet Jupiter as his personal sauna.

For 'American Sniper', Bradley Cooper got acting and beard-wearing tips from Chuck Norris.

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON HITLER KILLED HIMSELF. HE KNEW HE COULD NOT TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH HIM STILL IN IT. NOBODY CAN TELL CHUCK WAT TO DO.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck NORRIS

Chuck Norris once rolled a 13 at the craps table.

When Chuck Norris goes clubbing, the authorities turn a blind eye on all the people he clubs to death.

Thanks to Chuck Norris, the astrological sign 'Virgo' will now have to be renamed 'Pregno'.

One of Chuck Norris' bumper stickers reads 'This is just a distraction - I'm now sitting behind you'.

Jesus could walk on water...Chuck Norris can swim on land.

scientists use pictures of Chuck Norris to get panda bears horny

Chuck Norris' favorite flavor of gum is Tarantula.

Jimmy crack corn, so Chuck Norris cracked his neck.

Chuck Norris applied for work at Denny's just so he could give the patrons a morning SlamFest.