Whoever hates Chuck Norris is dead in 40 seconds. If one that hates Chuck Norris changed his/her mind then Chuck Norris will teleport to the hater and punch him/her in the back and his/her spine will crack.

SNAKE PLISSKIN MAKES CHUCK NORRIS LOOK LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL BABY BACK BITCH !!!!!!

Once Chuck Norris pissed off anger, and that is how happiness was invented.

Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris.....rest in peace.

it's easier to fight the death than to fight Chuck Norris

"Elect Chuck Norris for Pope".

Chuck Norris once got confused by looking at the infinity sign, so he roundhouse kicked it back into a clock, he now has it straped onto his wrist and calls it his wristwatch

Nobody knows Easter better than CHUCK NORRIS!!

Chuck Norris once walked into a feminist convention wearing a 'No Fat Chick' t-shirt, and ended up having sex with over twenty lesbians.

Chuck Norris ripped the horn off of the world's last unicorn. He made a scrimshawed knife handle out of it.

Chuck Norris can snatch your wife's golden watch in far less time than it takes a Peeping Tom to watch your wife's golden snatch!

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception

Adonis was a total Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can draw a picture of him kicking your ass, and send it you you a week in advance - and as soon you open it he will knock on your door, properly kick your ass, and you STILL won't know what

One factory in Texas decided to motivate their employees by hanging posters of Chuck Norris with the message "Don't Piss Off Chuck -- Do Your Work." Production increased by 500% within 6 months.

Chuck Norris once threw a 'block party'. The city of Detroit filed for bankruptcy the next day.

Chuck Norris loved the soft moaning sounds your mother made when they were conceiving you.

The only person who can defeat chuck Norris in the first round of an MC battle is MC Greeney. Chuck subsiquently roundhouse kicks Greeney in the face and kills him.

If you look closely at the bottom of the XX Beer commercials, you can read the fine print that states they're actually featuring the SECOND Most Interesting Man in the World after Chuck Norris.