Chuck Norris can actually shoot a breeze

America's next top model is really a competition of who gets to have Chuck Norris's child.

Chuck Norris puts the "punch" in punch-line.

The dildo was invented so every woman could experience the closest thing to sex with Chuck Norris they could get.

There is no angel upon Chuck Norris' shoulder... the devil sits there. His other shoulder is where he rests the bazooka

Pound for pound, Chuck Norris will pound the shit out of you.

Chuck norris was batman and Bruce Wayne was Robin, but then chuck got bored so Bruce was promoted

Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.

IT ONLY TO 1 SHOT FOR CHUCK NORRIS TO BECOME 15 PRESTEIGE

Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch

Jesus wears a WWCND (what would Chuck Norris do) bracelet.

Chuck Norris does not have red hair.... The color red is now known as Chuck Norris.

You can feel the wind off Chuck Norris' roundhouse just watching Walker, Texas Ranger.

Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik's Cube with his butt-cheeks.

Chuck Norris' beard survives by absorbing other beards.

If Chuck Norris slaps you on the right cheek, you'll turn inside out

Chuck Norris invented crunk. That's actually how you say his name in Chuckenese.

Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.

Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness

Chuck Norris' custom 'CHUCKY' keyboard has no ctrl, alt, shift or backspace keys, is set to eternal caps and the enter key is marked 'Do It'. There is no escape.