Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

It is a well known fact that too many uninformed people, now deceased, took Chuck Norris for granted. It is equally true that all living, well informed individuals take Chuck Norris for granite.

Chuck Norris can give a Ninntendo Gameboy a sex-change and create a Gamegirl.

When Chuck Norris ironed his clothes the steam was blood

Life is like a box of chocolates until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you.

Chuck Norris can mix water and oil.

Chuck Norris pees out lightning and poos out fist.

What is the difference between a diamond and Chuck Norris? Well one is the strongest substance on earth, the other is just compressed carbon.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

No matter where Chuck Norris is, he always gets free wifi and a full bar cell-phone reception

Chuck Norris is a true Norriginal.

Chuck Norris gets 5% cash back on all hand written checks.

Chuck Norris is the inventor of the dreaded 'Big-Chuck-Butt-Fuck'. And may God help anyone subjected to it

The most beautiful and lush chord ever heard by the human ear is created by Chuck Norris simply dropping his dick onto a piano keyboard.

Chuck Norris can have a midnight snack at quarter to four in the afternoon.

When Super Saiyans get angry they transform into Chuck Norris.

The Most Interesting Man in the world is Bizarro Chuck Norris.

For the next debate, Chuck Norris has volunteered to stuff all of the remaining GOP Presidential candidates into the tiny cicrus clown car they use for their arrival to the debate venue.

Chuck Norris wore a thong bikini once to see if anyone would laugh. CHUCK NORRIS 1 , CAVEMEN 0. anymore smartasses ?

When Chuck Norris walks up to you, then without a word turns around, bends over, and strikes a match between his legs, know that you are about to die the most unbelievably awesome death possible.