Chuck Norris's favorite word? CHORUS.

Chuck Norris is Charlie Sheen's dealer.

Who would win in a fight: Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? Neither. The world would implode from that much awesome.

Chuck Norris can pick a lock with once of his own nostril hairs

911 happened when Chuck Norris threw a paper airplane

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Bill and Ted's excellent adventures were sponsored by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris keeps a shotgun in his wallet.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris always signs his cheques with a bigass peacock feather.

When he was four, Chuck Norris could use his Etch-A-Scetch like an iPad.

Someone once told Chuck Norris his hair looked good. He roundhouse kicked him in the face and told him that he made the hair look good.

Step on a crack, Chuck Norris will pulverize your spine. Then plow your mother.

As a rule, on weekdays, Chuck Norris eats lunch at Home Depot. That's why his farts smell like rusty roofing nails soaked in turpentine.

Charlie Chaplin lost a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest to Chuck Norris. No one beats Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can open locked doors. Without a key.

Chuck Norris once caught a limit of Amazon River piranha bare-handed.

Chuck Norris. He doesn't like to fuck around.

Chuck norris can cook fire.

Chuck Norris scratches that hard-to-reach spot on his back with his chin stubble.