Chuck Norris drives Optimus Prime to work.

Pain and death is what Chuck Norris makes it.

When Chuck Norris was little, his parents got him a playground. As he got older he got rid of it...it is now used to film Survivor.

When chuck Norris farts. Tornadoes blame somebody else!

When Chuck Norris "dots his I's and crosses his T's the spell checker applauds.

Chuck Norris was named valedictorian of his high school on the first day of his freshman year.

Chuck Norris can ejaculate web fluid from his wrists.

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

The Japanese surrendered in WWII because they got word that Chuck Norris just got out of boot camp.

The U.S. Military once tried to capture the power of a round house kick from Chuck Norris into a bomb. It was called the Manhattan Project and it didn't even come close.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Ted Nugent is Chuck Norris' padawan.

Chuck Norris keeps a loaded .357 Magnum down the front of his underpants at all times, and he don't give a fuck.

Nun chucks is nun without chucks ... Chuck norris, that is

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

Chuck Norris once made it to the Super Bowl. He beat the Steelers 450 to -60

Chuck Norris has a smiley-face tattooed on his choad.

The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide

Chuck norris doesn't beat people up he looks at them they get scared and fight their self to the death

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.