Como muchos saben si me han leído, mi hijo César Gabriel tiene autismo, por lo que los castigos con violencia, no sirven al momento de educar, incluso a niños normales, no funcionan. Funciona quitarles algo que a ellos más les gusta y disfrutan hacer.
Estos días que tengo a César en salsa y no de tomate, por anda grosero, responde feo y no hace caso, me di cuenta que Yo como mamá estaba haciendo las cosas mal. Esto de ser madre se va aprendiendo con el tiempo, los niños no vienen con un manual. Eso es mentira, no traen manual.
Do they know what to punish if it helps? I tell you about my experience with my son Cesar.
As many of you know if you have read me, my son César Gabriel has autism, so violent punishments do not work when educating, even for normal children, they do not work. It works to take away something that they most like and enjoy doing.
These days that I have César in sauce and not tomato, because he is rude, he responds ugly and ignores me, I realized that as a mother I was doing things wrong. Being a mother is learned over time, children do not come with a manual. That's a lie, they don't bring a manual.
Muchas personas que no tiene hijos quieren venir a enseñarnos a educar a nuestros hijos, si podemos aceptar consejos pero no tienen la experiencia, ni conocen a nuestros hijos tanto como nosotros.
En fin, viendo las actitudes de César, me ha dado cuenta de que yo lo he Estado malcriando, sin querer, por querer hacer un bien y técnicas de crianza con paciencia, el niño se me esta descontrolando, hablo en presente porque aún estoy en prácticas de castigo. Hoy por ejemplo me di cuenta de algo que me sirvió, por eso me inspire a hacer este post.
Les cuento que estaba pasando el límite de ser mamá comprensiva a dejar que el niño jugara con las decisiones que se tomaban, es decir, las estaba torciendo con llanto y carácter a su favor y yo estaba cediendo a su antojo.
Many people who do not have children want to come and teach us how to educate our children, if we can accept advice, but they do not have the experience, nor do they know our children as much as we do.
In short, seeing César's attitudes, he has realized that I have been spoiling him, unintentionally, for wanting to do good and patient parenting techniques, the child is getting out of control, I speak in the present because I am still in punishment practices. Today for example I realized something that helped me, that's why I was inspired to make this post.
I tell you that I was passing the limit of being an understanding mother to letting the child play with the decisions that were made, that is, she was twisting them with tears and character in her favor and I was giving in to her whim.
Me dije "¡ALTO!" y lo observé, muchas veces no prestamos atención y fue cuando lo escuché, no fue que estaba llorando y deje que me usara su antojo, sino que escuché con cuidado y me di cuenta que algo estaba mal.
Al voltear a verlo, tenía la vista puesta en mí com ojos de malcriadez, como "prestame atención", estoy aquí, estoy llorando y es cuando comienza a repetir todas las veces lo que está buscando obtener. Como el teléfono si se lo quito.
Something made me open my eyes, I didn't want to see it, even the Karate Shihan told me, he told me: "This may be an act of rudeness", I had not understood it, until I began to notice the crying, which in Instead of crying heartily, he did so like a manipulative spoiled child.
I said "STOP!" and I watched him, many times we didn't pay attention and that's when I heard him, it wasn't that I was crying and let him use his whim, but I listened carefully and realized that something was wrong.
Turning to see him, he was looking at me with mean eyes, like "pay attention to me", I'm here, I'm crying and that's when he starts repeating what he's looking to get every time. Like the phone if I take it off.
Hace días, se puso grosero porque lo estaba mandando a bañar y no quería, lo mande a bañar muchas veces, no quería, le apague el televisor y se puso a hacer berrinche. Un berrinche como de 2 horas, no le prendí el televisor, incluso ya bañado y listo para dormir.
Él no tocó el televisor, siguió llorando, yo me fui a la sala en modo de protesta y él luego de un rato me fue a buscar, claro, ya tenía sueño. Me devuelvo al cuarto, prendo el televisor y pongo un canal que no es el que él ve. Se durmió.
Al otro día, se paró sin estrés, sin llorar, tranquilo, conversador, me impresiona lo educado que es mi hijo, un niño ejemplar. Lo lleve al colegio e hizo todas sus actividades, no le pegó a ningún niño, sin quejas. Solo que por niño lo castigaron por hacer desorden, pero eso es porque ya viene con racha de mala conducta de estos días.
Days ago, he got rude because I was sending him to bathe and he didn't want to, I sent him to bathe many times, he didn't want to, I turned off the television and he started throwing a tantrum. A tantrum lasting about 2 hours, I didn't turn on the television, even when I had bathed and was ready to sleep.
He didn't touch the television, he kept crying, I went to the living room in protest mode and after a while he went to look for me, of course, he was already sleepy. I go back to the room, turn on the television and put on a channel that is not the one he sees. he fell asleep
The next day, he stood up without stress, without crying, calm, talkative, I am impressed by how polite my son is, an exemplary child. I took him to school and he did all his activities, he did not hit any children, without complaints. Only that as a child he was punished for making a mess, but that's because he already has a streak of bad behavior these days.
Me pregunto, ¿si yo le quito por siempre el teléfono estará bien? ¿Si no lo dejo ver más televisor estará bien? La segunda es más difícil porque en casa es normal prender el televisor aunque nadie lo vea, solo es tener el ruido y no hay tanto silencio.
La verdad, no veo necesidad de quitarle esas cosas, mientras él se porte bien, estamos en otra época de crianza, gracias a la tecnología, tenemos estas herramientas y a la mano, que es lo mejor. También le he enseñado a usarlo para investigar y si quiere saber algo, él sabe que puede ir a Google y obtener lo que necesita saber. Lo conversamos y se va creando cultura en su educación.
The boy was relaxed, when I took away the telephone and the television, it was like a mentality reset, he feels vulnerable and calms down, he knows that by calming down he will have what he wants again.
I wonder, if I take the phone away from him forever, will he be okay? If I don't let him watch TV anymore, will he be okay? The second is more difficult because at home it is normal to turn on the television even if nobody sees it, it is just having the noise and there is not so much silence.
The truth is, I don't see the need to take those things away from him, as long as he behaves well, we are in another time of parenting, thanks to technology, we have these tools and at hand, which is the best. I've also taught him to use it for research and if he wants to know something, he knows he can go to Google and get what he needs to know. We talk about it and culture is created in their education.
Hace rato, César no se quería bañar, se puso grosero, le apague el televisor otra vez, hizo un berrinche de menos tiempo que el anterior, me pidió disculpas y ahorita está relajado ya listo para dormir. Ahora si estamos viendo el televisor tranquilamente.
Espero me ayudes con tu opinión como mamá y tomes mi experiencia como ejemplo a ver si a ti te sirve con tus hijos.
Por ahora me despido.
A while ago, César didn't want to take a shower, he got rude, I turned off the TV again, he threw a tantrum that lasted less than the previous one, he apologized to me and right now he's relaxed and ready to sleep. Now if we are quietly watching TV.
I hope you help me with your opinion as a mother and take my experience as an example to see if it works for you with your children.
For now I say goodbye.
-Fotos tomadas con Redes Note 9S
- Traducción Traductor Google
