Wow. This is a very sad example of how damaging our low self-esteem can be. To me it feels like you have never found the feeling of living your life to the fullest, because of the regret. I myself have so many as well and there were a few bright lights in my life and my believe of not being good enough kept me in the dark, in hiding from those lights. I used to imagine what my life would have turned into if I dared to receive back then what I am able to receive now. But because of the regrets I had, I, myself, turned my life around and decided I will always go for that which is the best option for me. I hope you were able to do the same for yourself. I also realized, some encounters are there for us to invite us to go beyond our limitations, not even to have a romantic relationship, but to truly inspire us. I believe there are so many stories similar to yours. So many men never dare and the women unconsciously always choose the “action taker” (often a half man at the end) because that is appealing to us, it is a masculine quality and we feel attracted to it. But often, there is a warm hidden place in our hearts, closed to everyone, keeping the memory of a guy like you alive. Bitter-sweet memory and a slowly fading story of what could’ve been....
Thank you for sharing this very intimate experience. 🌸🤍🌸