”Squid, you home!?” I wonder how many times Jonnie has screamed this at my van when it’s empty. The only reason I heard him today is that he happened to still be yelling right as my headphones died and the sounds of Le Tigre faded away. This was my fourth Jonnie encounter in two hours.
I never wish to talk badly on someone; unless they are a genuinely horrible person who is intentionally making other people’s lives more difficult. Those people can go fuck, so to speak.. but man, this shit is becoming difficult. The kid has no sense of personal boundaries, and I am at a point of seriously considering leaving town just to get some peace and quiet. I genuinely love and care for the kid, but holy shit.. the kid has essentially burned ties with everyone but me in the town; so I have become the anchor he actively seeks out and chooses. And if I set a boundary with him, he gets offended.. like a sad puppy with his tail between his legs. Less cute, though. (no offense buddy, no person can ever be as cute as a puppy).
Two days ago, I told him I was getting off work sometime between 4 and 6 pm. In fact, I told him like six times; because he couldn’t seem to remember as he was following me around on my personal errands. So, of course, at noon yesterday, I feel my pocket vibrating.. Jonnie, of course. I was working during the lunch rush; cant pick up the phone. No harm, no foul. Then another call. And another. And another. So my phone goes on airplane mode.
I get off work a little late; too late to go hike up the mountain; the thing we had talked about maybe doing if I got off before 4. It was now 6. I round the corner and see, of course, his truck bumper to bumper with my van. Waiting for me. I needed some personal time, which is not really feasible with him around, so I turn in my tracks, and seek somewhere to sit so I can hammer out some emails and phone calls while I still have battery.
After a couple hours, I return to the van, which is sitting alone; as it always should be at this time of year. The loop is pretty empty, and every normal person parks respectfully of others, leaving a solid hundred feet between vehicles. Not Jonnie though; he wants to be so close he can hear if I so much as open a seltzer. Anyways, all good; he’s just lonely and doesn’t know how to not push people away. So, I plug my phone in, hoping to get some charge so that I can go for a night run and small adventure.
I knew that was asking too much. I walk over to Chevron to get a snack, and all of a sudden there’s a HORN BLARING behind me. Why in the world do you need to be honking? And this much? Every single person on the loop is looking, wondering what is going on, as Jonnie pulls up next to me, screaming about his day. I mean it when I say “screaming”. I listen patiently, explain to him i wasn’t feeling well and was going to bed early. A little white lie, sure; but I really just needed a moment alone. I had played therapist with him for a whole 4 hours the day before, and I just needed one day off.
He seems to acknowledge what I said; until he pulls away, adding almost as an afterthought “I’ll be right back”. I just explained to you I wasn’t feeling well and needed some alone time, I thought.. but hey, this is par for this course. I give up on my evening, legitimately afraid that if I leave my van I will get stuck back in this 4 hour time loop of just being talked at- I’ve started to pick up on the fact that he literally has never listened to a word I’ve said. He just wants to vent. Which is fine occasionally; but it’s an every day thing for this new friend of mine.
Fifteen minutes later, I hear his dodge pull up. Loud as all fuck, he kills the engine and climbs out screaming “Squid, you home?” again. I climb out of bed and crack the door open, “yeah man, I’m still not feeling too well. Im lying down.” He asks if I want to hang out. I repeat the same thing. He goes off anyways, seeming not to have heard me. I listen for about ten minutes before I have time to again explain to him that I’m just gonna go to bed. Finally taking the hint, he retreats to his drivers seat.. about 5 feet from my bed. Yelling to himself, singing along with music at the top of his lungs… I mean the town is dead quiet otherwise. People can probably hear him from the gas station. The only way this town operates is that the working class here is respectful, quiet and clean about their respective vehicle camping situations. But not Jonnie. He has zero clue how loud he is.
Eventually, I realize it’s probably a good idea to use the bathroom before I shut my phone screen and go to bed. I almost said turn off the lights, but then I remembered that I am literally afraid to turn my lights ON with buddy around. So, I nervously climb out to go to the bathroom; a mistake. His driver door immediately flies open, him yelling about me feeling better and ready to hang out. “Dude, I’m just going to the bathroom”. I leave the bathroom, and he’s WAITING for me. IN the bathroom. He follows me back to my van, where I very firmly tell him, likely for the literal seventh time, that I need to lie down and cant hang out tonight. He gets so offended.. drops a dramatic “I’m SORRY”, and speeds off down the road.
This is becoming all but a daily occurrence for me. I no longer feel comfortable going home, and I’m starting to feel as though I can’t even be in the town at all unless I’m fully open to my day just being upended. Other friends around the town either literally hide from him, or have had to cut him off entirely. He’s banned from two businesses in this tiny town that probably has a total of ten establishments in it to begin with. I don’t have the ability to just be a dick and tell him off like everyone else has.. so I’m essentially his last lifeline and it is so DRAINING.
I hate the fact I am even complaining about this; but it’s too much. If this continues another couple of days even, I might have to put in my two weeks and move on. Has anyone else had to deal with these sorts of situations? Im sure almost everyone has.. but like, HOW. I can’t do it anymore. And I care about him; he’s a good kid, just trying to figure out life. But he navigates it in such a way that he is just everyone else’s burden; especially those who show him kindness.
I’m losing it, a little bit.