Man, shit has been WEIRD lately. The fire continues to grow, work has become uncertain, and my mental health has been about as stable as a drunk uncle at Christmas dinner.
Last week, we got the first little inkling of a hint that we might very well soon be unemployed. As I was down the hill doing laundry, I got called out of the retail gig for the day. My manager sounded very uncertain on the phone, and it was like a “see you when I see you” type of call. Fortunately, work returned to “normal” the next day; although traffic has slowed, hours are being cut, masks are being worn, and I eavesdrop on conversations about our foreseeable future on the daily.
The ongoing, 9-mile-out fire has continued to grow. Thankfully, it has not yet jumped the highway- which is what the firefighters are focused on. If it hops west of highway 35, we’re cooked; somewhat literally. We’re flying in firefighters from overseas, and many of those who I’ve spoken to are heading back home in the next few weeks. So we’re going to lose fire personnel, and the entire state is stretched thin.
Additionally, some new fires have popped up; unfortunately categorized as man-made. The larger fires are taking up most of the attention, so these are growing steadily. There’s a little wall around us being formed, and it seems inevitable that unless the weather changes soon, it will all join together and the whole area is fucked. But enough about the fires, cause all I can do is keep helping where I can and pray for rain as we take it day by day.
I sit here writing this in the kitchen as we’ve had zero open menus for almost a full hour now. Two cooks and a dishwasher for close; pretty good indicator on how things are going. This week has been a big rollercoaster for myself. I took a bus over to Portland to skate after getting called out of work, and halfway through the day I decided I was skipping the bus back up the hill.. questionable choice as I work in the morning and the bus system is notoriously unreliable east of Gresham. But, I need a little adventure.
So I spent the day skating and walking around Portland. Despite having spent a decent amount of time in the Rose City, I do not know it well in the slightest. My familiarity is at that point of lacking where just walking around any given neighborhood feels like a new adventure to me. This day, I decided to explore the downtown/chinatown/old town districts. Mainly just because that’s where I got off the train.
After skating, I fucked around and found myself at this little old stone hut deemed the “Witch’s Castle”. I didn’t really get any good photos because surprise surprise; there were a ton of people there. I didn’t want to wait around, so after I got my fill I headed back to the waterfront. The rest of the day was filled with a visit to the famous Powell’s Books, where I instinct purchased two books(one of which I am very excited about, the other a promising last minute grab), taking a walk across the Burnside Bridge, and stumbling upon an outdoor Modest Mouse concert. The venue was a square encompassed by a single block; so although I couldn’t see above the fence, the music was more than audible from the street. I hung out on the other side of the fence with my fellow degenerates that were either too cheap to buy a ticket or just stumbling by as I was, and after an hour or so I continued on my journey.
When all was said and done, and since the weather was more than fine, I decided to find a nice spot in the park for a nap and some stargazing before heading to the train to try to make it to work in time. By the grace of Krampus, I arrived at my van with just enough time to shuttle to work.. timing i wasnt exactly ecstatic about, but considering my dumb ass left my work uniform in said van, I had to hop off the bus that was headed to my destination.
I fell into a weird little slump post-journey that could be attributed to many things. It could be the uncertainty of the new life here caused by the fires, it could be the two months of sobriety and loneliness settling in, or it just could be my clinical mental health problems. But most likely, it’s a combination of all three. I do strongly want to move on right now, but I know when(if) the fires cease, and we approach winter, I will regret not spending my first and likely only winter here in such a magical place. So day by day, I push on.. knowing, or hoping, that the future is gonna be brighter.
I suppose that’s all I got for now, as I sit in the humbling darkness of the parking zone known as muscle beach, eager to change into my sleep clothes and hit the hay. Today marks day six of a 15 day work week, and I am surrendering to my soar, soar feet. Much love y’all
