Also, because mean internet people make me sad, which in turn embarrasses me and causes me to just participate less.

I LOVE YOU and I am always proud of you. Do not let misguided ( I am being nice) people win. You bring a LOT to Steem. It would be a shame for everyone and your Smart friends :D if you left.

I know it's not easy. Maybe try a few podcasts on Steem?

Hmmm?