I have been sitting at my computer looking at a blank white page. I should be putting words on this blank white page. The problem with this line of thinking is I have gotten rusty doing any kind of creative anything.
I used water-based markers on the first page of Reptiloids II coloring book by Vasyl Sailo. Adding markers as a base to your coloring page takes away 'blank page syndrome'.
This year has been.....
This year was to be the year I got a handle on Doctors, my art, posts, making books, digital art, and so on. I was on an excellent roll as the year started. I had boughten a planner and used it in my own way. Let's not get crazy and think I really planned anything but with the help of my planner, I could look back and remember what I had done during the day and what was to come later in the month.
I was happy. It showed me how much I really did accomplish each and every day. I would write down why if I hadn't done as much in a day. It helped me not be so hard on myself for getting so little, according to some, done daily.
I was proud of how far I had come in my art journey. Drawing and coloring each day gave me a joy I had not felt in a long time. The end of March changed everything, and I put my life on hold for the next four months.
I started with the bright green leaves knowing looking at them come to life would make me happy.
My mind turned to survival mode.
I had two lives in my hands and no help from anyone.
My friends helped me the best they could, listening to me whine. I needed help with cooking and someone to stop over for a few hours so I could sleep for more than one hour at a time. But life isn't perfect, and we don't always get what we need. We learn to make do, and I did.
Next, I added some purple for color. This was the point where I almost gave up. Was that a tail and his back? Or just a tail? I decided to ignore it all and just keep on going.
Once home, it was time to take care of myself. Time to nurture my soul and get healthy again. I slept a lot. When awake, I was in a semi-daze. I would look at my computer desk and all my art supplies, and my brain shut down. Everything I had learned seemed to be hiding somewhere in my brain. It wanted to avoid coming out and playing. I was an empty shell of creativity.
This didn't mean I was gone from Hive or the people here. I would connect with my friends daily, but I wasn't myself for most of it. Those friends knew I had been through a lot, but I could feel their worry. I tried my best, and that was all I could do.
I found myself missing myself. I wanted to come back to life, but my brain had other ideas. Looking back, my brain knew better what I needed to focus on. Writing, art, and Hive would all be there when I was ready. I didn't have to be happy about not being able to post. I just needed to heal before I could fly once again.
Then came to color his body. It's not the correct color, but I love the shading, which made me happy to look at it.
I look at my computer desktop, and I have folders of photos I have taken that go along with never-written posts. I must stop getting upset when looking at those folders and know the posts will come in time. A recipe doesn't have a timeline! So know that delicious food posts are also coming.
This past week I have slowly been working on coloring some pages in books I have. I am sad looking at how much I have forgotten. I am also happy with how fast I am relearning everything I forgot too. The hardest part is knowing I need to relax and enjoy the process.
The final.
I can give up on being creative or take the time needed and slowly relearn what I once knew. It comes down to how badly am I willing to fight for the things that give me joy? In fighting for joy, I am also fighting for a better life. I never want to be that person who always blames others for their crappy lives.
My quiet time for today is soon coming to an end. I advise you to never give up on what ultimately brings you joy! Press On!!
Help someone smile today. It can not hurt you.
Snook
All photos are mine unless otherwise stated.