Children are meant to be seen and not heard. Children are meant to be quiet in group settings unless asked a question. Mr. or Mrs. was an adult's first name followed by their surname. Aunt or Uncle was always used before saying their given name.

Greeting someone in person, older than you, was met with a firm handshake and a polite 'How do you do?' Dinner was eaten at a table that was 'set'. Manners at the dinner table was a must. Polite conversation was key. Leaving the dinner table was done by asking permission 'if you could be excused, please'.

In order to watch the only television in the house, you had to ask permission. If you were in the middle of a show and an adult came along, changed the channel, you had two choices. Stay and watch what the adult wanted to watch or go off and find something else to do.

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A family gathering was something that you had to get dressed up for. Having company over meant you would be called in to greet them. Once done with answering polite questions you could go off and quietly do your own activities. Television was not one of those activities. It would have been too loud and distracting for the adults.

The above might sound harsh by today's standards, yet, what you learned as a child by following the rules above is the basics of respect. Respect for your parents, great Grandparents, Grandparents, great Aunts, great Uncles, Aunts, Uncles and adults in general. Family values.

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Not all people in these categories were perfect but then again no one is.

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I was lucky enough to go up north each summer to my great Grandma's dairy farm. She had thirteen kids. All of her children were alive and married when I was a young girl. Most of the people I came in contact with while visiting, two weeks each Summer, ranged in age from sixty to ninety-something.

I don't remember if my Great Grandma even had a television. If she did it was never on that I can recall. Days were spent cooking, eating, asking permission to go down by the barn so I could pet the cows and getting in my second cousin's way while they tried to get their work done. I did learn a lot of swear words while visiting the barn.

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I also learned that baby calves will quickly suck your whole hand in its mouth to taste the salt from your skin. Once you get your hand out of the calf's mouth, NOT an easy task by the way! you will have to quietly find somewhere to wash the dripping slim off your hand.

If you are caught slimed, your second cousins will swear at you for going in by the baby calves alone. It is their job, while you are in the barn, to keep you safe because they are older than you.

When late afternoon came it was time to go back inside. My Great Grandma kept a clean house. Once inside the house, you would have never known you were so close to so many farm animals.

This meant, for me, a bath each night in 2 inches of water before changing from play clothes to nice clothes. No one living at the house quiet understood my extreme ungirly fascination with the barn, all things outside, and love of dirt.

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Lucky for me my Great Grandma liked me so she cut me a lot of slack when I came running in the house smelling like a barn. She would nicely tell me to hurry and wash up for dinner but first go back down to the barn, fill up the milk pitcher with fresh milk. I always thought of this as her way of giving me a few more minutes of freedom plus an added bonus of why a girl smelled like a barn.

Evenings, after dinner was done and all was spotless once again, we went into the living room to sit and ... well, being a child, I listened while the adults talked the night away.

Yup, sitting in a dress, on a couch so big my legs stuck straight out, and not talking. Sounds horrible, doesn't it? The funny thing was, it wasn't. To this day, these are some of the best childhood memories I have.

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My Great Grandmother was a strong woman. She raised strong children. Those children went and fought in the great wars. Women, in this family, were treated as equals. The men, in this family, knew that if the women didn't do all the work they did, the men would not be able to accomplish, in a day, all that they did. They were partners.

Being in a room full of adults that all felt comfortable saying how they really felt about a subject was fascinating to me. From those early childhood memories, I learned how to debate a subject without tempers flying off the handle.

I learned about the great wars from the people that were there. I learned that really, really, really old people still have the same hopes and dreams as very, very, very young people.

I learned to wait for an opening to ask a question. To not interrupt someone while they were speaking. Not to talk over someone. I learned to talk louder then the next person about a subject did not earn you more respect but less.

I learned if you asked an intelligent question, politely, you received back a full answer no matter your age. So many life lessons were learned on those Summer nights sitting quietly listening to old people talk.

Thinking back to those days, oh so long ago, makes me realize that each night, while the adults talked, at some point friends and family were being commemorated for the sacrifices they gave to their country. Names of fallen friends and family were spoken of with great respect. Silence would fill the room as each person would be remembered least they be forgotten.

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From that tiny living room, sitting quietly listening to a room full of old people talk, I learned to have pride in my country, to never forget those that gave their souls for their country. Most important to honor those that came before me for all they did so I could have all I have today.

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