My Brother and I.

Long ago, contest posts filled my feed. I miss those days. Today I got tagged in a #LadiesofHive contest post by @Katrina-Ariel. I could have scrolled on by, but I did not, and I am delighted I didn't. One of this week's Ladies of Hive questions was; What life lesson did you learn the hard way? How did it alter your perception or attitude? Read on for my answer.

My First Christmas

I have a love-hate relationship with life lessons. Yet, in the end, they are needed in this world, so I tolerate them in my life.

You might be wondering what the words Life Lesson mean. It is a phrase we hear a lot, yet I never spent the time to get my dictionary out and look up the exact meaning.

Life Lesson (defined) <dictionary.com>

noun. something from which helpful knowledge or principles can be learned.

Now that all the housekeeping is out of the way, I will see if I can write how I feel about life lessons.

My Grandpa who I still miss very much.

When I was three months old, I was adopted. The young lady that gave birth to me could not take care of me. My parents could not have children. For better or worse, they ended up with me.

In 1961 they adopted my brother. He was six months old. He was and always will be their firstborn. He is not my biological brother for those out there that need clarification. After this, he will be known as 'my brother.'

I always knew I was adopted. There was no shock about finding out that my parents were not my real parents because they were my parents. They were the ones that paid to have my legs straightened by wearing plaster casts, so I could walk straight as I grew older. They wiped my tears and my butt. If that doesn't qualify you as a parent, I don't know what does.

My first Birthday with both Grandmas and my Aunt. I miss both Grandmas so very much.

The most innovative idea my parents came up with was to give my brother and me a birthday and an anniversary day. Our birthday was the day we were born. Our anniversary day was when my brother, in 1961, and I, in 1964, were brought home to live with our parents.

I still remember my poor Mom reading all these magazine articles about being a good parent to the kids you adopted. Mom would read something and get all upset. She would then call my brother and me to the kitchen table. We sat down while she asked us the stupid questions found in the magazine article(s).

"How did we feel about being adopted?" and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo questions that some people, who didn't have adopted kids, made up to scare parents that had adopted children.

My brother and I would sit through a few of these questions, hug my Mom, and tell her that everything was fine and please stop reading those magazines.

My Second Christmas. My Brother making sure I do not fall.

I get upset when I hear adopted people say that their lives would have been better if their natural parents had raised them. People who believe this go through their lives not living in the now but living in a land made up in their heads.

You see......

There was a reason you were given up for adoption, and it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the two people that made you. I owe the people who made me my thanks and only that for being smart enough to realize they could not take care of me at that time in their lives.

How you end up with the parents you have is a crapshoot either way. I know plenty of non-adopted people that hated their home life and do not talk to anyone in their family. I know of no person adopted or not adopted who had a childhood filled with joy from the moment they woke up until the day they died.

A lesson in How to cage a baby that can crawl.

I know many adopted children/adults whose life mantra was "You're not my real parents." or "My real parents would have treated me better." Unfortunately, in most cases, when meeting the people who made them, they found out too late that the home they were raised in was the better place.

Parenting doesn't come with a manual. You can hope you are a good parent to your children. You can try your best for your children. Some do this by giving up their children for adoption, while others adopt children because they can not make their own.

The two people who can not have children and decide to adopt children want children to love.

My life lessons growing up adopted were many. I had to listen to every dumb Polish joke known to man because my last name was Polish. I then had to explain that I wasn't Polish. I was then called a liar by the dumb ass telling the Polish jokes to hurt my feelings. I do not lie. I usually punched them after that.

I had two parents that never had a blemish (pimple) on their face. I had oily hair and many blemishes. I was given Dial soap and told to wash my face. Dial soap is the most drying soap known to man. One could blame my Mother for not researching acne, yet she did. She worked for a Doctor that never had acne in his life because he was the one that told her to have my brother and I use Dial soap. I still have nightmares about dial soap to this day.

I'm FREE!!! Crawl for your life!!!

One day I told my second-grade teacher that it was my anniversary day. That teacher laughed at me and made fun of me in front of the whole class because kids did not have anniversaries. I tried to tell her why it was my anniversary, but she didn't listen. I did not have a lot of respect for teachers after that.

In science class, I did not have to do any homework when they were teaching about genetics. I did not have to fill out three pages of forms about my family's medical history when going to the doctor. I still find that a big plus for being adopted!

My parents raised my brother and me as they would have raised any child, minus the dumb questions asking were we scarred for life because we were adopted.

Yet, the insight to adults just winging it as parents, teachers, and adulthood was priceless.

Cuz it makes me smile

I learned early on to trust myself and my instincts when it came to interacting with adults. Trusting my instincts gave me the confidence to make it to adulthood and expecting respect from people no matter how old they were. If someone could not respect me, I did not need them in my life, no matter my age. I still feel the same way today.

A life lesson learned very early that I have never forgotten.