Presently I have started observing fights between different spouses and their seriousness. Some call each other angry nicknames during fights and end up saying the worst things about each other and attacking their weaknesses. Then they patch after a few days or weeks.
Some of the issues observed are: a lack of self-respect from one of the spouses, lack of forgiveness for what they did or said during the fight, Breaking promises, making excuses, not giving space or not giving enough freedom, doubting one another, not trusting one another to take up responsibility, not earning enough, not spending enough, and I believe the list goes on and on...... It gets even worst when kids come in..... both have a different perspective of what is suitable for the kids and lack of time and attention ....Are these issues serious?
With the rising inflation, anger has become a household emotion. Every family member is angry, impatient and geared up to fight.
One of my elders heard me and my husband fighting and called us children; they said that your fights are merely like kids fighting in school..... it would be best if you matured so that you can raise your kids better.
When I was angry, I got pretty offended thinking about this. How dare she call me a child when I have been married for 14 years and have 4 kids. the eldest is in her teens..... but when my anger cooled down... I realized that my anger was initiated because my husband was not ready to believe he offended me by taking a third party's name. Instead, I should have stayed calm, knowing that the rules I have already set are as per the Islamic guidelines we have set for our kids. I was offended by the example of the person he had given me.... and when I tried to tell him that do not refer to such and such person...he refused to have taken the person's name.....and the fight escalated...."
Now when I think of it, I shouldn't have bothered with the whole explanation. My closest family members have called me impulsive... I hate being called impulsive I try to be thoughtful and weigh right and wrong before taking action. What would you say...was this impulsive? He had mentioned the person's name 12 hours ago, so I decided to discuss this with my husband because I couldn't shake off that annoying feeling.
Please guide me on how to deal with such situations further and whether I am impulsive. All the feedback from your side will be highly appreciated.
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