largest stake in the blockchain by orders of magnitude

Not really that much any more, but it is the largest. Selling big chunk every month works wonders for flatting the distribution.

You can engage with them and encourage process improvements, but then we have to have conversations like this

I don't so much mind these conversations. In my view as long as there are conversations then it means there are people who care and are exchanging ideas, and hopefully progress is being made even if not exactly in the manner and at the pace you would prefer. If everyone quits there will be no conversations.

My view is that the process improvements are promising so it makes sense to continue to engage. There have been times in the past when there were really no improvements being made (in fact at times the opposite) and we may have gotten pretty close to pulling off the mask as you describe it, but that is not the case now.

Now what?

Corrective fork was done, and everything appears to be working properly now. A few bumps in the road may be inelegant but it not the end of the world.