Maybe where we go wrong is we try too hard. We try too hard to find someone. Then we try too hard to make them feel special.
In our head, we put them up on some goddamn pedestal, and we curse them when they don't follow our ideas of love. You can't teach someone how to love. You can't tell someone in what ways they should show their love.
Fuck, what do we know even know about it? Aren't we all just messy people trying to stumble upon someone who will make us feel something? Aren't we all out there looking for anyone to understand us? Aren't we all craving for someone to love us for who we are, even if for a while?
Don't turn people into heroes. They didn't ask you to. If you truly love them, just let them be. Let them make their own mistakes. Let them fall and figure their way out.
You go and just sit beside them. Try to understand what they carry inside. Most likely, you will fail to do that. But, maybe, the answer is in the attempt.