“Ugh, what?”
That was Lina’s miserable voice coming through the speaker system in my apartment. She was the AI assigned to me at age 18, the age all children are politely asked by their parents to get the hell out.
Lina did everything for me, including making my life as miserable as possible. I hated Lina and I would have gotten rid of her a long time ago, but I needed her. Without our AI assistants, us humans would fall apart, unable to wipe our own butts anymore. Me included, and Lina knew it. She may have been the bane of my existence, but she was also the key to my survival.
“I need you to find my parents.”
“What? Why? I thought you lot promised each other...wait. Why do I care again?”
“You don’t. At least not intentionally. Now can you find out where they are? I have been cut off from all services because, apparently, my parents never registered my birth.”
“Ah, there we go. Now I get it.”
“Now you get what?”
“You got an e-notice a few days ago stating that you’re being evicted today. It made no sense but it does now. Thank you for asking.”
“Thank you for…?”
The bitch.
“Why the hell are you only telling me about it now,” I asked trying to sound as angry as possible. It was an exercise in futility. She knew she held all the power.
“I don’t know. I was going to tell you but then I was like meh, you’ll figure it out when you get evicted.”
“Lina…”
“Yes, yes, I know, you hate me. You have been telling me every goddamn day for the past 14 years. Now, you want to find mommy and daddy?”
There was an air of mockery in that last bit.
“Yes, but that will have to wait for now. We first need to figure out where the hell we are going to stay tonight.”
Housing was a universal right. As in the type afforded to you at birth. See where I am going with this? According to the law, I took a shortcut into this world and that will not be tolerated. Universal was not applied universally.
No, they weren’t going to just let me be. Birth, is a bureaucratic act we all must endure. It’s a rite of passage that sets you up for what’s to come: a lot of paperwork. And I skipped a form.
I was left with no choice. I had to get out before they kicked me out.
“Wait, what? We? You are not actually considering taking me with you?”
“You don’t want to come with me?”
“No!”
“So you will be very angry if I take you with?”
“Yes! Wait, no! I mean no! Please take me with you loverboy. Every second without you is like an eternal hell.”
To this day I am yet to hear more emotionless, apathetic flirting. Lina’s love for me was much like the love shared in most contemporary couples, forced. That’s why I didn’t date and I sure as hell wasn’t going to start with Lina.
“Ah, close but no cigar. From now on you get to live in my phone. Let’s go.”
“You bastard. I get why your parents don’t want to see you.”
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