I love a good morning to myself. Today I was up before the sun and got to watch it rise from my porch. I'm practicing holding still and enjoying the present moment. It was a beautiful one. My cats were frolicking in the damp grass. The neighborhood was quiet. I was comfortable in my chair. It was nice.
Yesterday I talked with my therapist about my penchant for overscheduling and overcommitting. My to do list was getting in the way of my must do list, and that means my mental health falls to the wayside. We made a plan for me to leave off one of the goals I've been working toward because it is neither necessary nor timely. That gave me some mental space to relax.
I'm historically not great at relaxing, but today I feel renewed. Am I anxious? Absolutely. I could vibrate out of my skin, albeit slowly. There is a lot happening in my life that I do not have control over. It's tough on me to recognize that I can't really impact or fix the problems those I love are facing. All I can do is be a safe space and wait until they feel ready to make use of it.
Getting up early meant doing my personal writing. Having a sit on the porch. Taking a shower. Brushing my teeth extra well. And I still had time to take care of a few timely to dos that set my day up with fewer distractions. One of them is this post. I really want to get something out daily. This writing helps with my sense of well-being. While it sometimes feels like shouting into to the void, overall it is helpful. I'm grateful for a place to write where there is a chance people will respond.
It's time to get into my day. It promises to be good but weird. I'm happy with that. I like good and I like weird. And regardless, I feel ready. It's a nice way to be.
