Thank you for this mindful post! I think everyone has to invent themselves an approach to reach the characters. I use an NPC who is statistically peasant, but knows some street info, because he tries to tag himself with a group of people to get some money for booze reasons, and sometimes he pass through some place he probably shouldn't, and accidentally hears some info. Generally party loves this guy, they offer him some beer and ask questions about the village/town/city/surroundings. I think it's a good way to socialize.

I also use some asshole characters who are not fighting against characters, but party find them extremely cringy. Sometimes party do something and have those characters in debt, and sometimes they just don't interfere and walk away.