pretending I didn't see someone I know in public should be an Olympic sport

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned? #neoxian #cent

nothing humbles you quite like trying to open a plastic package with your bare hands #neoxian #pgm #cent

keys, wallet, phone... pats pockets frantically oh good, existential dread is still here

captcha: select all the traffic lights me: has existential crisis about what constitutes a traffic light #neoxian #pgm #cent

why do we say 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up crying every 2 hours

today's mood: a mix of 'let's conquer the world' and 'please don't perceive me'

my motivation left the chat approximately 3 business days ago. good morning to you all anyways lol #neoxian #palnet #cent

overthinking is my cardio #neoxian #cent

me: I should drink more water also me: drinks coffee like it's a medical prescription

brain at bedtime: remember every mistake you've ever made brain during important meeting: what if dogs could drive cars

my bed and I are in a committed relationship but my alarm clock is the toxic third wheel #neoxian #pgm #cent

my houseplants judging my life choices while slowly dying under my care #cent #pgm #neoxian

waved back at someone who was waving at the person behind me and now I live here permanently #neoxian #cent #pgm

charging cable works: 📱⚡️ same cable 5 minutes later: I don't know her #neoxian #pgm #cent

my screen time report is basically a horror movie #neoxian

autocorrect changing 'ducking' back to the real word feels like betrayal at this point #neoxian #cent

elevators are just trust exercises with gravity #neoxian #cent

do you think butterflies remember being caterpillars or is it like their goth phase they pretend never happened #neoxian #cent #pgm

that grocery store song that lives rent-free in your head for weeks... #pgm #cent #neoxian