“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” is a saying attributed to motivational speaker Jim Rohn.
Rohn also said: "If I wanted to find out how much income you earned, all I had to do was take the average income of your five closest friends and that would be your income!"
The intent in these saying, says David Burkus, is to encourage us to:
"Audit the people around you. Make sure that you’re spending time with people who are in line with what you want for your own life (preferably people “better” than you so it raises your average). It’s compelling. It’s provocative.
And it isn’t true.
At least not in the way that you think. “
To support his claim, Burkus highlights research he did for his book, Friend of a Friend.
He cites the study about the breadth of social influence conducted by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler on data they examined from the Framingham Heart Study.
Christakis and Fowler concluded that not only your friends, but the friends of your friends have a real cause and effect relationship on your perception of acceptable lifestyle choices and behaviors and also the likelihood of being happy.
Burkus concludes:
"You’re not the average of the FIVE people you surround with. It’s way bigger than that.
You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings."
Here are some questions to help you in your evaluation:
- Who are the people in your community, your circle of friends and associates?
- Who are the people with whom you are seeking to build relationships?
- What are their income levels and views about money?
- What are their values on family, spirituality, personal development?
- What does their conduct say about their beliefs about physical well-being, social issues?
- Are they negative, constantly complaining or generally positive about life?
- Do they propel or repel you in your life vision?
- After being with them, do you leave feeling energized or drained?
Bonus Question:
How would they answer what Albert Einstein said was “the most important question” – “Is the Universe a friendly place?”
Then, ask yourself:
- Am I surrounding myself with people I admire?
- Are those persons with whom I’m spending time, or seeking to build a relationship, living lives that fit the vision I have for my life?
Choose wisely. The data suggestions your choices have life-long implications for you.