Do you find it more difficult to acknowledge what you’re doing correctly, than your mistakes which appear glaringly obvious to you?
Even reflecting on our admirable characteristics makes some of us nervous. Appreciation and compliments can make us uncomfortable, and we sometimes don't know how to react without appearing self-conscious.
So, how can we better appreciate our positive traits?
One key is self-compassion: treating oneself with compassion when evaluating our shortcomings. And on a more positive approach: foster a "self-appreciation” for who we are - for the unique gifts we were given at birth and skills we have acquired.
When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus said love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and then went on to say the second was equally important: love your neighbor as you love yourself. (Mark 12:29-31).
Life coach Jade Nyx says
"To love yourself is to experience freedom – freedom from doubt, self-hate, and oppression created by you. To love yourself is no longer holding yourself back from what you deserve. To love yourself is to grow and enjoy your life. Self-love is a necessity if you want to live a truly happy life”.
Steps to Appreciating Yourself More
1. Decide To Do It
Self-appreciation is a decision you have to make yourself; it is not bestowed upon you. It is not found in another person or an item. You get self-appreciation by choosing it. Let go of any thinking about loathing yourself for not being enough.
● Say no to any internal self-hatred and tell yourself the truth: you are awesomely and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
● Give yourself permission to appreciate yourself more. Use tools that work for you (e.g., gratitude journal, positive affirmations, meditation, prayer).
2. Recognize & Replace Negative Beliefs
Disrupt mental patterns that are solely focused on failures and defects. Reframe failures as lessons learned. Notice any false conclusions you may be making such as:
● Feeling like a loser does not imply that you are a failure.
● Someone not replying to your text, email or phone message does not necessarily indicate they dislike you.
● One negative comment should not deter you from appreciating positive feedback from numerous people.
3. React Kindly To Your Blunders And Setbacks
Don't berate yourself for every blunder. Reacting to your own mistakes with compassion boosts your self-esteem and makes you a more competent and resourceful individual. Acknowledge that inner critic who distorts reality and tell it:
● Few things in life that are "all or nothing." Even if things did not go as planned, it does not imply that nothing good came from it.
● One setback does not define your life.
● "Things didn't go my way, but that doesn't mean that will always be the case. I will learn from this experience and be a better person."
4. Discard The Perfection Culture
If your standard for life is perfection, you’ll frequently find yourself declaring "I'm never good enough.” Because if by perfection, you mean ‘flawless’ you’ll never achieve it; no person does. Let go of this impossible benchmark.
● Instead of perfection, strive for excellence. And appreciate yourself each moment you go for that measure.
● Self-appreciation blossoms in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation for what you have and how you are becoming better each day.
5. Say No
Do not overcommit. Prioritize your personal needs. Respect your boundaries and decline obligations that aren't worth the stress or not aligned with your values.
● An unthinking "yes" in responding to requests you receive is a "people-pleasing" action that prioritizes everyone else's interests before your own.
● Remember, there is real power in a small two-letter word NO.
+++
“Self-love is a choice, a commitment to yourself that you will love yourself, despite all the social and biological obstacles in your path. It is not found in a place, person, or item."
Source:
Jade Nyx
How to Nullify Negative Self-Talk
The Power of a Two Letter Word: NO!
Images by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay