I used to be a very avid reader when I was a child. Being cooped up at home all day with an overly caring yet overburdened mother, resulted in me taking to the joys of losing myself in a children's work of fiction. Although it did simultaneously end up with me having less-than-adequate social skills which I still have a lot of progress to make in. Nonetheless, books remained a faithful companion throughout my childhood and adolescence.
However, I don't really know how it happened, but when I was about fifteen, I couldn't enjoy it as much anymore. Something changed. I started reading lesser and lesser, and reading also took longer and required more effort. I would lose focus easily. I took to other forms of recreation, mainly television shows and movies. This was new for me, but I enjoyed the additional visual stimulation which books could not provide.
But, I missed reading. It doesn't make much sense to say it that way because no one was really stopping me from reading. But it just wasn't the same whenever I tried. I would miss the feeling of being completely engrossed into a book, disconnected from reality, and sincerely doing a mental analysis of the plot and characters. Even if I did manage to complete a book, it now felt like work. I didn't know why.
It affected my creativity too. It was now harder for me to imagine or picture something even when given a description. After a point, even television shows and movies didn't excite me. It became work to watch them too. I switched to writing essays and opinion articles instead of stories. This may not seem like such a big problem, but it was to me because I felt like I was to blame for losing out on a huge part of who I was, and yet I couldn't do anything to stop it. This change happened so naturally that all I could do was stand and watch and try and hope to succeed in getting the same feeling while reading that I used to get when I was younger.
Something good happened of late. I started reading a book, and I became hooked real soon. I am feeling almost the same way I felt. I believe it's back now. I hope that that was just a phase and that now I can get back to reading like before. The book I am reading is 'Kafka On The Shore' by Haruki Murakami. I haven't completed it yet—about 70% done—but, man, it is wonderfully absurd and enthralling. This is one book where I'm really not reading it to complete it—I'm reading it to read it. If that makes sense.
I hope this feeling lasts.
