Actually the story is more like this:

Ned and Dan gave birth to us, but then Dan split and left us with Ned, the irresponsible parent, when we were toddlers. Ned kept telling us that he would put food (SMTs) on the table soon, but never delivered. When we called him on his shit, he had a mental breakdown and put the babysitter, Eli, in charge to deal with us while he went into the back room and played the guitar. Ned then converted our home into the House of the Rising Sun, with us getting fucked over on the nightly. Justin tried to burn the house down with us inside, but we were able to escape through the back when he wasn’t looking and moved into our own place.