"WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS?"
A satirist friend of mine has the exact same problem as I - to write about something serious without sounding too downtrodden. We can't seem to write about heavy subjects without sounding like the Pope on an off-day.
Maybe in this post I'll finally achieve that balancing act of keeping it light despite the weighty subject. A post I've seen in the GEMS community a while ago also served as inspiration. The writer was quite down out of her luck before her career finally kickstarted. If I find the post again, I'll make sure to include it in a later edit. Meanwhile...
In one word, priorities. It's been a whirlwind of a couple of months, in two years of practically only whirlwinds.
For starters, my roomies and I barely had a month's notice from our landlady who decided to terminate the lease on our apartment out of the blue. She had only told one of us about it, so when we found out, it didn't give us much time to move out. Let's just say we were pissed off is putting it mildly.
Parting ways was not easy, especially after we got used to each other living in this same shoddy small shared space we called home. After securing some freelance work, it was a race against time to try and finish work and get paid before the move. It obviously didn't work out, but I tried! Do I at least get a Reese's Peanut Buttercup for trying?
So right now, as you can see below, I'm crashing at my friends' apartment, for which I'm obviously very grateful for, as well for their patience and understanding.
So here I am, once again, practically homeless and penniless. I moved miles away from my home country to achieve one dream, and one dream alone - to become a filmmaker. The question comes automatically, how the fuck haven't I thrown the towel and given up? Considering my current situation, why indeed.
I actually don't have an exact answer myself. Except for the fact that this question has been living rent-free in my mind for quite a bit now, and I'm jealous of the question and the question's landlady, or landlord, because it doesn't have to pay rent. Moving swiftly on.
The odds aren't exactly in my favor. I guess, for those of us in the same boat, they never really are. It's like we survive on sheer grit, perseverance and hard-headedness, as we work/wait/hope/pray for a stroke of luck to drag us out of this seemingly self-imposed misery.
Do you also ever wonder if we're just stupid? Why we shouldn't have just been happy becoming doctors or engineers? Hell, I wanted to become an airline pilot myself. As preposterous as it sounds, we might as well be success stories waiting to happen, who knows. And "stupidity" - for lack of a better term - is part of the formula of these stories.
My "stupidity" takes the form of having neither the necessary documents nor the resources in achieving this dream of mine - at least, for the time being. All I know is, remaining in my home country, at least personally, would definitely not have not fulfilled my goal whatsoever. Or considering the uptight perfectionist that I am, I just prefer taking the long arduous tortuous way from point A to point B, just to say "I made it!"
In all seriousness though, fact is the people in authority back home make this dream of ours too much of a gargantuan task, and only a smattering of local passionate individuals would help you pull through. Nevertheless, fucking hell! I'd rather these individuals be paid their well-deserved dues than sacrifice their time and passion for a pittance and a pointless, time-and-resource-wasting PR exercise of an awards ceremony.
Stallone and his allegedly expensively re-purchased dog according to Snopes Photo: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/stallone-sold-his-dog/
Thankfully, my idea of success has not been skewed by the constant bombardment of it being somehow equated with opulent luxury and excess. Don't get me wrong, having my own spacious apartment would definitely be a step-up to sleeping on the floor, but I aim to be in possession of enough capital and resources to help others share in my success.
I mean, come on, after 2 years of this stupid pandemic exacerbating inequality in every corner of the world, how the fuck are our socials still promoting this bullshit idea of luxury + extravagance = success? I'm sure most of us are well aware of this being all smokes and mirrors. And you could certainly say this was another reason I was spurned to write this post.
Actually, Scott Galloway said it better than I ever would, and his words don't apply just to the business world.
I've read of other established artists who've been through similar struggles - Sylvester Stallone for example. I'm positive as-of-yet unestablished artists are going through these struggles right now - take an actress friend of mine also has to move out in 10 days, so there's that.
With that said, while I edit weddings in order to have some stable income, I did start a YouTube and 3Speak channel to work on my vision as a filmmaker on the kind of movies I'd like to do. Yes, this post was a whole elaborate ploy to plug my channels, I'm glad you noticed! Joking apart, I'd also like to keep consistently posting on ecency as well, since writing is also something I consider part of a skillset I'd like to improve upon.
In all honesty, it was not an easy post to write, since one would assume, talking about feeling like a pig-headed fuck-up isn't exactly light reading. But I do hope whoever is in a similar situation finds some solace in knowing they're not struggling alone. And despite this being the bumpiest of bumpy rides we've been onto, may we never ever really give up, and for those of us who do, may you find your calling elsewhere to be as fulfilling.
And I do also hope I didn't sound like the Pope on an off-day...
