I think you may have embodied the true spirit of emo (even if you don't externally exhibit it). If it connects to you, speaks to you... well, I think that's all an artist can truly ever ask for when creating their pieces.

Now, the question is: what's making you feel this way? What changes in your life have caused this kind of shift that requires you to process your emotions in a way that's profoundly different than before?

Something to consider. Wishing you all the best in your journey!