I鈥檓 feeling increasingly frustrated these past weeks.I have had several video call/ discussion/interviews for an upcoming job on a project that has yet to be properly set in motion. These calls have been spread out over the last 7 weeks. It鈥檚 exciting and yet frustrating as the prospect of what is to come really gets my juices flowing yet there is nothing set in stone yet, so may not happen. It is like a massive carrot forever dangled before me , just out of reach or a mirage of an oasis in the desert.
This leaves me feeling kinda restrained and in a limbo state, a holding pattern if you will. Yearning to be set loose and released on to said project I feel like a caged tiger or maybe more appropriately trapped in an aquarium ( no silly not a tiger in an aquarium, a shark maybe or a dolphin). Yeh yeh yeh you all say you just got back from Egypt. Well that was weeks ago and I had my first call with them while out there at the end of February.
Image Source: google earth 馃寧
I would love to say more but , alas, the last step was signing a non disclosure agreement prohibiting that so you鈥檒l just have to wait until everything gets the green light. To say I will be on a global adventure would be the understatement of the year. I am just ready to go and yet unable to really get on with anything as I really don鈥檛 know if or when this whole thing will suddenly get set into motion or just not materialize. It has brought back feelings similar to being in lockdown, that caged frustrated feeling of needing to be doing something productive and yet restricted. I have even fell into a similar pattern ( which in truth is helping my Japanese studies) but I would prefer more clarity right now so as to plan better otherwise it could prove to be a waste of time. I sincerely hope not. Signing the NDA is a good sign I think, I hope. It is right? Come on I could use some positive feedback right about now 馃槈.
So I am trying to keep a positive mindset and to ev en flesh out ideas on paper for the upcoming project. I am keenly aware though how dangerous it can be to realise how badly you want something though as if it now ,for some reason, does not go ahead I will be totally gutted. Especially after so much anticipation. But fingers crossed Hivers that my upcoming global adventure/project will soon be underway. I am so ready to sink my teeth into a nice juicy project and get out of this living in a cave like feeling.
Until then I plan and wait, and wait, and plan, and wait, and go to the pub, and learn Japanese and wait argggggggh it is so frustrating!
Image source: google earth 馃實
