I'm a young person from a really small town even in the map doesn't exist I think. I just want to post a lot of things that are going on in my life because I don't really have someone to talk. My life was not good at all.I wanted to share here my story because I hope to motivate any of you.
What my life really was. I won't tell here all of the story because is to much for anyone to read all.
I was born in a small city and I live in another small city. We can only call it small town but life is so big.Especially when you are a child and you're parents are almost divorcing. But anyway today I want to write only for my teenage and adult years until now.
I'm 23 years old and I suffered and I think I still suffer from depression,anxiety, fear you know I hope.
All started when our financials in our home started to fall down a lot and we just couldn't make it. I studied architecture. But I don't love architecture very much,now maybe I like it but not as much as working as IT.
I have a judging family , they don't see the good things that you do only your failure. And this killed me a little by little.In another hand I am a little big not skinny person and I couldn't work out because I didn't have money to pay for gym even I did workouts at home but my food was not good at all and I couldn't eat healthier because as I said I didn't have money. So the struggle was so real when my family forced me to work as an architect. Maybe you don't know how bad is to work when you don't like the work you do at all. I barely slept that time and a had a lot of anxiety. But you know what is the baddest thing or the worst thing that can happen to anyone who is suffering from depression is that nobody believes you and nobody understands you.It is even harder when you don't want to tell anyone or you act like you are fine. That is the wors feeling ever,you don't have anyone to tell you that is going to be okay or I can stay with you. Yes everyone can stay with you at work,school,college or anywhere but late at night when you cry yourself sleeping at that time nobody is there to help you.That time you are alone just you and God, I forgot to tell you that I believe a lot in God.
And so I was going to that fucking job that everybody thought that I'm having fun but noooo I didn't even like the people in there.Here in my town in the sunday is all break day. When the sundays camed I just didn't want to sleep at all because in monday I should go to work there. So one day I came home at told my mom all of thing I was thinking and overthinking.I was almost killing myself. Than my mom believed me for a day because she didn't speak to me for at least 1 month because all she wants is just me to work work work with architectural projects but I don't want at all. So I went to psycholog to talk to him/her so I can help myself because nobody helped me, and when I went there everything was feeling better. Myself,my body , life , my small town and everything was good but really quick everything againnnn...........(to be continued)
