Now people often fall into two categories when talking to me online. They either tell me I don't understand what it's like have "Severe Mental Illness" because I sound coherent, and talk in a way that's more or less, what people agree is based in reality. I'm generally not an impulsive type. When I get upset I can hold it together pretty well. At least I've never gotten to the level that was deemed maina. I have gotte anxious, and depressed, but often times it's related to what's going on around me. That's not really the point. Point is I've only gotten diagnosis that fit someone who's had struggles, but generally is grounded, and appears so. When you've attempted suicide, and don't accept psychiatry's narrative or treatment, and you're objectively grounded prepare to get lied about.
There are people who claim to be against victims of abuse, lies, lack of rights. This simply a false immage. Psychiatry doesn't need to understand people, to force them on drugs. They don't even need to help people. However psychiatry in my experience doesn't have a problem givivng you a drug, even if they don't agree you have said problem the drug is prescribed for. They'll make it work.
I've struggled badly with tics as long as I can remembe. I'm used to getting this label, only to be replaced, added on, taken away etc. I've reconciled, I'm still the same perosn long ago. Being seen as a liar, before I knew what a label described, or that anyone else experced something, all the way throgh not wanting to think about it, to admitting t "professionals" and not being believed. Not only is that still incredibly hard to reconcile, but it was noncongrusive to my situation. That's why I asked the people for help who misunderstood, and made things worse. I couldn't push it aside. Figures aside from yet agian not understanding me, they were still willing to hand out pills. Psychiatry hands out pill like candy. I got a prescription for clonidine. I'd go from sleeping all the time to just talking and not getting the urge to tick. That meant a lot of things. My hair was easier to maintain. I mean wasn't a priority going in, but admittedly an added bonus. My tics tend to mess it up progressivly no matter how it originally looked. My mucles felt better. I wasn't making faces that confused, or offended people, when in reality they didn't affect how I felt. I didn't get the same urge to say offensive things. On top of all this I wasn't having to constantly supress it. I was able to be more natural, and focus more on what was happening. I'm able to to veer into topics I typically would've avoided otherwise in fear of coprolalia, and copropraxia.
The problem was not only was my tics being ignored, but the trauma they lead to. The psychiatrists would say it didn't matter, because trauma was treated with the same drugs as Mood problems. A comon line given when the MH field disagreed on what I had from, AS, to ADD, to anxiety, to depression, to wheter I had 'latent bipolar or disorder I believe'. IDK I believe mood disorder NOS was ruled out when I got Dx with MDD. (Which a psychiatry lied about me being previously Dx, because he wanted to imply I had bipolar w/ out evidence to back up). Whick is why psychiatry didn't make my tics a priority, even when I got rebound effects. I to struggle to get psychiatrists to make it a priority, and do something. They'd up the dose only for things to continue to get worse and worse. Part of made sense that they were cautious to a degree seeing as my blood pressure ran low, and it was originally made for high blood pressure. I'm not being unfair here. They tend to be way less cautious with most drugs in my experience. Point was my rights were constantly risk, if I didn't get them taken away completely, and my problems weren't getting better. They'd get worse and there was nothing I could do about it. This will be an ongoing discussion. Self righous people like to twist it. I didn't give it a try, or don't understand what it's like to struggle. Some even go as far as to say psychiatry has helped me, ironically enough seeing as they not only didn't know me before, but to say they seem to try and show me in the worst light is an understatement. However, that shows I did try to make psychiatry work. In addition to the fact I should have the right to choose not to eather way, I did try, and it was more than counteraffective.
