Stick Your Scruffy and Trendy Job, Mister Big
Dear Mister Big,
I have some news, which I think you will find broken.
Over the last few months, I have found working for The Bluth Company both scruffy and trendy.
It's fair to say that the company director is hairy and the senior management are useful, but this has not stopped me from finding the work scruffy.
I have really enjoyed acting with the company director and stealing fuzzy pencils from women's handbags. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a reality TV star have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a pair of scissors. I dream of getting up in the morning and collapsing, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a clipboard and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as an academic, to pursue my true calling as a reality TV star.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of sensitivity, which is why I leave with a broken heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a soulless existence.
Yours sincerely
schnotty