He pulled the wheel sideward to avoid the roadkill that lay splattered in the road. Another one? This stretch of road near the old quarry always seemed to have something dead on the road. As he drove on he wondered if the animals roundabout there were more stupid than elsewhere. His face jerked up in a grin thinking about it.
Yeah, an area where the animals are afflicted by chronic stupidity.
He wasn't far from home. The last light was fading from the sky as he pulled into his drive still chuckling at the idea of a stupidity zone.
Next morning he was back in the car. The road glistened with early spring frost. As he came to the long stretch of road near the quarry he stepped on the gas. He loved driving in the morning at this time of year. Roads clear, sky sparkling and so clear it felt like you could see for miles.
He drove past last nights roadkill. Last night he thought it had been a squirrel. Whatever it was it was hard to tell now. Just a flattened paste. Stupidity zone, he chuckled to himself.
Something blurred across his windshield. He wrenched the wheel to the side and the car spun. What the fuck was that? The car had spun almost full circle before coming to a halt. He got out, slamming the door shut with a snarl.
Behind the car lay a carcass. It had been eviscerated, little left of it but legs joined by a glistening spine and a characteristic bushy tail. Matted with blood it was still recognisable as a fox. He stepped tentatively toward it. What the hell had happened to it? It had flown into the road as if it had been thrown. It had almost hit his windshield for crying out loud.
He looked over at the treeline beside the road. Despite the bright early morning sun, it was deep in shadow. He shuddered, he felt as if he was being watched. He gave himself a shake. Kids? Maybe a vagrant living wild in there. Well they were gonna learn that you don't fuck with Ron Howarth or Ron's fucking wheels. He breathed hard out his nose.
'Hey, whoever you are, in there. Don't fucking throw shit at moving cars alright?' He spat, his temper building. 'And you're fucking with the wrong guy!'
He glared at the shadows between the trees. Nothing.
He got back in the car and fumbled the keys in the ignition. As he set to start the engine something slammed hard on his windshield.
'What the...'
He leapt out and scanned the treeline again. Nothing. He turned to his windshield. Fuck, was that a dog? It was. Some breed of small dog. Torn up and missing its head, it had slid down to his wipers and left a bloody smear on his window.
Ron screamed in rage. Leaning into the car he pulled the tire iron out from under the driver's seat.
'Right mother fucker, whoever you are I am gonna fuck you up!'
He stormed toward the treeline, feet crunching on the frost-rimed grass as he entered the shadow of the wood. His breath fogged out in ragged bursts as he whipped his head this way and that, peering into the murk for his tormentor. His eyes started to adjust to the light and he moved deeper in.
There! A noise to his left. he swung his tire iron and it clanged hard off a branch. A shower of frost cascaded gently down around him as he spun again, thinking he heard another noise. His bravado started to leave him, it was dark. The roadside no longer visible from where he stood.
Fuck this. He thought. He headed back in the direction he thought he had come, a feeling of apprehension ticking up his spine. He picked up his pace through the undergrowth. Where the fuck was the road?
It was real cold now. The branches of the trees kept tangling him up and he felt sick with a rising panic. What was it he had thought? Stupidity zone? Yeah, maybe it was, he had been stupid to come in here. Wait, was that the road over there?
He turned to face the snippet of the road he had glimpsed to his side and halted dead in his tracks with a hissing gasp. He couldn't breathe. He forced himself to look down at his chest, had he caught himself on something?
His eyes bulged with terror. In the middle of his chest protruded a bloody spike. It pulled slowly back and he gagged as he felt the sucking lack it left in his chest cavity. He fell, his blood hissing as it splashed out onto the frosted ground.
His chest burned, vision dimming. A clot of blood gagged out of him. Something paced heavily around. Something big.
Stupidity zone, he thought, before everything went black.
