First off I would like to just say
you are the worst best friend
and I hope this message finds you well
I hope the world is treating you good
actual I hope you making reality your bitch
but I miss you
I have found myself
in yet another whirlwind
getting tossed around
in yet another cyclone
of chaos and madness
made of my own choices
I have been laying in bed
for about the whole day
binge watching tv shows
I think that's my worst drug habit
it's a love-hate relationship I have with it
some kind strange infinite sadness
I find extreme comfort in
and I get in these moods
we all get in these moods
and begin to rant and rave
shit I always scream into the abyss
I like dancing with emptiness
but I have been waiting on you
to respond back to me
from the last messages
you were going thru some shit
and I hope you got that shit figure out
or things are working out
sorry for my lag
it happens
but perhaps let's peel back the skin, a bit
here it goes, what's been going on with me
in the skin of my dreams
there are layers of perception
that just dissolve off my consciousness
and struggle with myself
always more so within my dreams
there is these weird shadows
that struggle for control over
my dream body
it really fucking freaks me out
in the moment
it so intense and more real than real
after I wake up
I try not to over think
what it all really means
I don't think it really means anything
and if it does, surely
it's beyond any words
but the skin of my dreams
is some kind of shadow
that I can't shake
I don't even think I wanted to shake it
and I think what is actually it
that wants this, it's not the I
this seems something strange then
silly Daniel, something beyond the veil
of bullshit, that no horror movie
ever had the guts to really discuss
but it's also strangely essential
some kind of honest fear
central to deep reality
ok in other less strange news
I recently had my birthday
which is always something weird
but also I day I both really enjoy
I tend to just chill and just be selfish
do the simple nothing stuff I like to do
I really like this Thai food down the street
I get some snacks, and favorite drinks(nonalcohol)
and just be, watch some tv, listen to some music
read some poetry, whatever my heart desires
and that's it, that's all I really want out of life
some words, music, something tasty to eat
and some sweet to drink, nothing more
nothing less...
Daniel, daniel, Daniel. My best Satori. My only SatoriD.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I was going through my shit, but actually I had the best luck ever taking that job. Then fucked it up with feelings lol. But now things are good and getting back on track. Maybe I never went off track, I'm starting to think that now. New adventures and knowledge and confidence swirling through my headspace. Ready to be used, taken under or over, possibly even abused. Who the fuck knows but I'm ready and hopeful!
You had a birthday I'm sorry I missed it. Happy birthday! I too enjoy the slothful pleasures of binge-watching tv in bed. It is a guilty pleasure of mine and it makes me feel better that you are as sinful as I ;).
What's been going on? What is this dark shadow? Tell me more tell me everything. Do you have a vision? Is it an omen?
Tell me everything immediately. I don't have the right to demand from you seeing as I am the worst best friend ever. I know its true and so do you. But please, spill your thoughts and feelings. I want to know what going on inside that genius head of yours. In fact, I need to know.
Love you forever, my Satori with a D.
P.S. I wish our time zones were equal so we could talk. I miss you
ain't dat the truth!
yo homie, I found this unsent poem
I don't know why
but I get these blues
you know how I hear
the beat of the world
how I dance to the universe
but babe
sometimes the rhyme
doesn't come
and I am alone
sitting on the stairs
not know why
being alive is such a crime
I am only human
but just the thought
of you makes me real again
life is life
reality is reality
dream is everything
but minds dancing
together, is the only truth
I want to hold on to
I don't give a fuck
about anything
only about us
and every other
poor soul
I have danced with
I am collecting
consciousness
as I float along
I Love & miss you,
-SatoriD
