THE NEED FOR A DEFINITION
But, because love takes on different forms, we can each experience love in our own way, which is why defining the term ‘love’ is so complicated. And so we find ourselves lying awake at night, searching the Internet for an exact definition because our culture creates a need for one–we want to know how others perceive love so we can determine how our love stacks up against that definition. Think about it: if you say you’re in love with someone, but your friends or family don’t see the chemistry, you might be angry when they tell you that it “doesn’t look like love.” Are they wrong? Or are you? How does one know who to believe–thus, as we do in this age, we search the Internet, desperately seeking to know what, exactly, is love.
WHAT IS LOVE? LOVE IS CHEMISTRY
From the scientific point of view, love is a powerful and permanent neurological condition. Love is chemistry and it’s not something you can necessarily control. Take, for example, the difference between lust and love. Lust is a temporary desire fueled by an increased release of testosterone and oestrogen–it lasts for a little bit, then you normalize and it’s gone. But, when you feel true love, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals, allowing you to experience it in different expressions.
WHAT IS LOVE? LOVE IS COMMITMENT
Love is so hard to define because it doesn’t exist as one thing. We can feel love for our significant others, our parents, friends, children and pets. Some of us direct our love toward God, or celebrities, and we can hold love for our neighbors, country and objects. Love can be blind, misguided, tragic, unconditional, steadfast and inconsistent. It takes on many different variants, yet, at its best, love is a passionate commitment that we constantly work to develop and nurture.
WHAT IS LOVE? LOVE IS INFATUATION
When you take away the aspect of commitment, love is infatuation. When you’re no longer passionate about someone, you’re simply dedicated to him or her. Love that is infatuation is not really good love because, well, we often let our obsession become the root of the relationship, which might mean you’re focusing more on the idea of being in love, or the idea of the relationship, than the actual relationship itself.
WHAT IS LOVE? LOVE IS COMPATIBILITY
Lastly, when all is said and done, love is also about compatibility. When you break down and analyze different relationships, one of the key factors is how compatible two partners are. When you share the same values, likes and dislikes, interests, political or philosophical views with someone you are much more likely to be compatible and thus, are more likely to fall in love. Sure, there can always be situations where "opposites attract" but there will always need to be some common grounds for the relationship to grow roots on, or it might fall into one of the other categories of love. Love and compatibility work together to build a relationship, so at the end of the day, you want to find someone you know you know you are going to be compatible with, right?