While skimming through topics to write on for the 30 days challenge, the scrolling somewhat stopped on the words your school and it got me thinking, damn didn’t I have enough of those, at least more than any other normal person. Due to the little moving a lot tendency of my family, from a very young age I got to realize, making friends is just a temporary thing as every other year I got to change the faces.
During the ten total years of school life, I got to change schools eight times. I couldn’t say having a different school every other year did any improvement of my social skills, because it didn’t. But the one thing it made me realize is, if you want to survive in the new social environment, find the most socially accepted group, dig your way into that circle and boom, you are set for the remaining school year.
But because I was an introvert and a socially awkward kid, even after realizing what needed to be done to survive, I would simply choose to stay out of the social obligations. Making the first move towards any potential friendship was out of the question and I would rather choose to sit alone or wander aimlessly in the school yards. It has always been the other kids who were intrigued by the new kid title over my head and became the first initiator, even going farther enough to include me in their circle. A mystery I still couldn’t understand was why they wanted to include a loner.
I couldn’t remember much about the very first school I got to attend to, the memory became blurry over the years. But two specific memories got stuck at the back of my mind, one the rail line and the other is the fall.
There was a rail line somewhere near that school area, and every day after school I would go there to pick up the smoothest rocks for my mum. I would spend hours on the railroads, trying to find the perfect rocks that would match the specific descriptions. She would always paint those in red, blue, yellow and white, I would sit beside her, taking in the transformation like a hawk. The texture of smoothness and the smell of dried paint always washed over a unique nostalgia and to be honest sometimes I still miss that smell.
The second memory is falling down from a pretty high place. It was either from a small hill or into a deep hole, I can’t remember clearly, but the fall was bad enough. I remember tasting blood in my mouth right after the rolling down stopped and it took several moments to realize some part of my mouth had been cut badly and that’s all I remembered. I don’t know what events took place afterwards but according to my parents, that event got me a new best friend.
Apparently she was the one who found me at the bottom of the hill or in the deep hole and informed the adults. She even accompanied me to the school's small infirmary and from then on we became the best buddies, always sticking together like glue. Sadly, the memory of her has been drowned in the ocean full of blurriness, and I only got to know her from the stories my parents used to tell. And years later when they took me to her house to do the grand reunion of their daughter's first friend, all I did was, trying to find her face among every possible candidates, years of building expectations and the stories helped me to build up a blurry image of her in my mind and I was trying to match it with someone, anyone. But sadly, the chance never came, she wasn't there. It turned out they married her off a week prior to our visit and she was now living with her husband in another city.
They were happy to show us the wedding photos and I wish I didn't look into it. Because the person in those photos was a complete stranger to me, a stranger I didn't know, or share a bond with, a complete stranger who didn't feel like a friend and it didn't feel right. So, I decided to forget that face and stick with the blurry image cause at least in that, she held a familiarity.
So, here’s to the first childhood friend whose face I don’t know, whose name I can’t remember, whose memory got lost in the blurry void of the unknown. Thanks for rescuing me, sticking by my side and allowing me to be the first friend you ever had.