I have completed 31 years of my life out of which 12 were as a wife and 10 as a mother. Life was not fairytale. It was an Indian arranged marriage where I had to struggle to adjust in a new family where everyone except one man couldn't trust a stranger. I had to learn cooking from scratch and manage my studies and household with contant attention by supervisors that were waiting to grab an opportunity to give me a red card. However, I sailed through the ups and downs and now life seems steady. Kids are growing, husband is loving, those who hate are sidelined etc etc.
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I always had the thought that life would be better had I not been married et al. I would have saved at least 7 years of my life and did something constructive than do what I did. Without marriage it would be all fun i thought. A job that could pay my bills, a group of friends to hang out with and no tension is what I thought would be life until my friend who happens to be around a year older than me told me her experience.
We were classmates and pretty close. While I was an average, she was brilliant. We lost touch after I moved in with my husband and she went on to pursue her medicine dream. She went on to become an anesthesiologist saving the lives and earning something that can make my eyelids tear. She is beautiful, good natured and amazing. There is no reason any guy can say 'NO' to her until there is a gun pointed on his head, or so I thought.
She believed I was the lucky one because I have the perfect family now when I am still young and have kids who would grow up and get married when I would be in my 50's. She is worried that she has to invest the entire of her middle age to convince her husband and his family that she is someone who they can trust. She says with age, guys have been refusing to marry her because they want a younger partner.
Well, to pacify her I told her my struggles, but she still thinks my life is better than hers. A talk with her made me realise that we always think the other one has a better life, no matter how well things are going in our own life. That's human nature.