Love! A couple of us would say 'I love you', do we really mean it? Do we know what it entails? I tell her every other day, on phone, via whatsapp messenger, face to face, 'babe, I really do love you', at those times I really meant it, I wasn't bluffing or saying it to just make her feel really good.
Yeah, I'd searched deep within myself, I wasn't with her for anything I'd get from her. She was perfect for me, just perfect. I wouldn't leave her, or so I made myself believe.
Today, all the love I thought I had for her, was suddenly on a scale; I found myself weighing those emotions; was it really worth it? Strange question.
This wasn't right, it wasn't at all. I thought nothing was capable of breaking this feeling, but, boy was I wrong. The words she poured into my ears today left me bedazzled.
I was shocked, wasn't really expecting what I got today. It questioned my love for her.
We walked hand in hand down the lane of her opprobrious past, I heard what shouldn't be heard, she opened my eyes to sight I'd rather not have seen.
In her words 'I love you so much, reason why I'm telling you this. I feel guilt, didn't want you find out from another source', I didn't beg her for this information, I would have been better without this information.
I held her in high esteem, at every word she said, she gradually fell down the rungs of my esteem ladder, so sad. I shouldn't judge her, I'm not God. I'm only human, as humans we tend to the work for God, in the judicial department. We say don't judge, but we judge and I judged today.
When we say those words, 'I love you', it really means 'I love you for who you are and for who you were, regardless of what it is. If we were to take a peek into the past of our past, would we still express that love? Would we? You see, love should be really blind, like we say, 'love is blind', it should be blind to the past.
The past should remain in the past. Granted, the past contributed majorly for the person we have become today, but the past does not define us. Easier said, than done, right? Here I am giving advice, and I'm torn in between two decisions.
I obviously need it more than you do. But, let's not just say it, if we don't mean it. Saying it implies, 'I love you despite your faults, your shortcomings, your past; regardless of what they are, your best, your worst and whole lot of crappy things about you'. Don't say it if you don't know the implications.
While we were yet sinners, someone loved us to the extent of giving His life for us; you know who that someone is. That was the mold set for us, we should try to fit into that mold.
Love like he loved, not just merely saying it. Let's love for real.
In the course of this write up, I've made up my mind to love her despite her ugly past, you should do same.
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